As the 50 Shades trilogy causes a buzz between females across the world, we thank the author for making us realise that our dominant/ submissive fantasies are completely natural.
If anything these books have opened our minds making us realise there’s more to explore when having sex with our partners. There’s no doubt that after reading, couples across the globe will be introducing bondage into their relationship, whether constructing a full on room of pain, or just adding a blindfold and handcuffs to the fun.
Are You a Dom or a Sub?
Deciding on Dom/Sub Roles is Not as Easy as You Think
Many couples think its child’s play working out who is the dominant one in the bedroom; however this couldn’t be further from the truth. Doms and Subs in a sexual setting are a long way from a partnership in a domestic household. Just because you wear the trousers in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ll be the dominant one in the bedroom. In fact the opposite is often true as it gives the breadwinner or control freak a chance to relax and let go knowing someone else is taking control for a few hours (or minutes depending on your state of arousal).
How to Work out if You’re a Dom or a Sub?
To work out your roles, forget your day to day life. Your roles in the household are irrelevant when it comes to sex. No matter if your husband is always eager to please and will do anything to make you happy or you’re an obedient housewife, these rules are moot when bondage comes to play.
Instead think about your times having sex together, think of the first time you orgasmed with your partner, think of how you became aroused, was it through giving or receiving pleasure, was it through role play, or dirty talk? When your partner winks at you do you feel stirrings of lust in your groin?
All this will help. Think of past relationships, have you adored it when your partner has taken control leaving you helpless but pleasuring you beyond your wildest dreams? Or do you prefer being the teacher with killer heels and a cane, giving orders that you expect to be obeyed?
Also think about your fantasies when you pleasure yourself, what scenarios come to mind? Are you tied up and helpless as someone insists on taking you roughly but orgasmically, or do you have men licking your feet ready to do whatever you demand?
The Roles are not Set in Stone
Your partner also needs to think about this. As we don’t enter sexual relationships like Christian Grey with a view to the submissive qualities of our lovers, sometimes conflict can occur. Maybe both of you would like to be the submissive or the dominant, and if this is the case, take it in turns.
Once you’ve made up your mind, check out our tips on how to be the best dominant or submissive, we’re sure you’ll have a great time with this new adventure together.