We all know the saying: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. This may or may not be true, but what about when it comes to orgasms? How different are we actually in bed?

While researching this topic, The Journal of Sex Research found that men do have a higher sex drive. The average man thinks about sex 34 times a day, whereas for women, that number is around nine. Nonetheless, in terms of duration and sensation, orgasms are very similar for both genders.


The definition of an orgasm is exactly the same for both men and women: an orgasm begins with the contraction of pelvic floor muscles, intense pleasurable sensation, release of endorphins and hormones, and the release of some fluid (though the amount of fluid is often significantly less for female orgasm).


Women have described the sensations of orgasm as beginning with a sense of suspension, followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling that usually begins at the clitoris and spreads throughout the pelvis. The genitals are often described as becoming warm and tingly, and these physical sensations usually extend into other parts of the body. Most women also feel muscle contractions in their vagina or lower pelvis, often described as “pelvic throbbing.”

Similarly, the male orgasm begins with a deep warmth or pressure that corresponds the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped. It is then felt as sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the pelvic muscles, rectum and genitals. Finally, a warm rush of fluid or a shooting sensation is felt whilst semen is ejaculated.


There are, however, some differences between male and female orgasm. Most women take longer to achieve orgasm than men. A common sexual dysfunction in women is an inability to achieve orgasm, whereas men suffer the opposite – premature ejaculation.

Women are luckier in the sense that their orgasm can last longer than their partner. The average male orgasm lasts six seconds, while the female equivalent lasts about 20. That being said, orgasms vary between people and experiences.

It also seems that women can more easily achieve multiple orgasms. Some men are capable of this however, just as some women do ejaculate.