Today is International Woman’s Day, (before men complain, international men’s day is on November 19th), the day when we should see how far we’ve come for women’s rights, the day when we should celebrate with our fellow women and pat each other on the back.

That’s not going to happen though is it? As deep rooted in many women’s psyche is a fear of the unknown, a green eye monster reserved for a prettier girl, an envy that surfaces when another celebrates success and a quite frankly disgusting beast that can leave many women in tears, it’s so cutting.

How can men take us seriously when we can’t even get along, or support our fellow woman?

And there in lies the rub.

On the surface, I’m quick to blame that person on my friend’s list who smiles, sickly sweet, and tells me she’s “so jealous”, I immediately blame the woman who judges me for my past and gets personal, I throw my own hate at the mum that threw shade at me for colouring my own hair, “Oh I remember those days when I had no money and had to colour my hair myself, poor you!” and I blame the women who have taken feminism too far and now think it’s cool to be a bitch – it’s not.

If I delve deeper though, and look at common conceptions, the perception of the ideal woman, the media storm that tells us how to function, I take my blame elsewhere. I pity the bitch, the jealous one, the judgemental mum and instead see that they’ve fallen into a trap of living the life they think they should have without ever stopping to consider what THEY really want.

Do we want our girls growing up believing they must change to be this Stepford wife of a human being where everyone looks the same? Do we want our daughters to be a Mean Girl that gives into cruel emotions such as jealousy by sabotaging another success through cyber bullying?

For this, I blame the likes of Kim Kardashian. This woman posts selfies of a naked body months after childbirth, looking fabulous. (We find out the picture was actually taken before pregnancy, another deception). Who does she aim to please with this, it’s certainly not the new mothers who are struggling to parent full time while hoping the baby fat disappears. Is it the new mummy’s husbands, is she hoping they’ll throw shade at their wives for not being as perfect after childbirth? Is it the teens that follow her religiously, is she trying to show that childbirth is glamorous and does nothing to the body? Whatever she’s trying to prove, and whoever she’s trying to please, it certainly isn’t female. That’s plain to see!

Do we want our girls growing up believing they must change to be this Stepford wife of a human being where everyone looks the same? Do we want our daughters to be a Mean Girl that gives into cruel emotions such as jealousy by sabotaging another success through cyber bullying?

OR do we want our girls to completely embrace their individuality?

If my daughter grows up to be obese, as long as she’s healthy I want her to embrace her wobbly bits.

If she has a flat chest, I want her to enjoy the positives of a slight, boyish figure.

If she’s more interested in bugs than makeup, I want her to enjoy every minute playing with those mini beasts without worrying about being different

If she values quality of life over the trappings of success, I want her to live in a camper van, to make it her own and be happy.

I want her to be herself.

Before she can do that with ease, our own generation needs to stop and consider what we want to be.

What would you tell this little girl? That she's rubbish at building, good at sorting colours, or something else?

What would you tell this little girl? That she’s rubbish at building, good at sorting colours, or something else?

Do you really want bigger lips and the perfect eyeliner cat flick or is that what you’ve been fed through your Facebook feed?

Do you really wish you had the boobs of Kim Kardashian, or would you rather spend that five grand on your garden? The sad fact is, that in our generation, if we admit to the boring, we’re instantly judged and ridiculed rather than celebrated for being different.

It’s taken me 36 years to meet this conclusion but I hope my hindsight benefits my children. In a world where every one’s the same, reaching for the same star, I’m proud to be the one that chases the moon as your star may shine brighter but not when it has to shine on everyone, I’d rather bathe in my own moonlight than share the starlight of the norm. I’m proud to be different.

In the gentle glow of the moonlight, my world has the soft focus of a gentle life that fits my every purpose. I love to garden, I love to bake, I love to chat and I love to read. If this is boring, so be it, take your leave and leave me in peace. I’m not here to conform to society, to judge those who do things differently, I’m here to mind my business, to make the most of my own life for my family. If I am happy and my children content, I don’t really care about your two cents, as I feel as though my life is well spent, and that’s what stops me throwing shade on those that want to share the starlight.

It’s taken me 36 years to meet this conclusion but I hope my hindsight benefits my children. In a world where every one’s the same, reaching for the same star, I’m proud to be the one that chases the moon as your star may shine brighter but not when it has to shine on everyone, I’d rather bathe in my own moonlight than share the starlight of the norm. I’m proud to be different.

Now consider this, what would really make you happy? What would you achieve with bigger lips that you couldn’t achieve with your own lovely face? Do you want these to please the men (as women will only like you less) and if so, isn’t it time you stopped pleasing them and concentrate on yourself.

If you work hard at your own dream, be it running the country or raising a happy family, you’ll have no reason to be jealous of another’s success, as their success will be completely different to what you are trying to achieve. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, where there are those who find success without any hard work but these are few and far between, and once you earmark those, they’re also easy to ignore unless they’re doing good with their new found fame.

Sad woman

It’s only when we all look inside and find our true source of happiness that we will be happy for other’s success and will really make the most of International Woman’s day, together. I’d be really happy to read your comments.