One woman’s musings on her sex life during the school summer holidays!

Anyone who has children of a school age will empathize with my current situation, as this week we moved house with three children out of school and my sex drive took an almighty plummet. As we pictured life in our new home I don’t mind divulging that my husband and I were excited, we had visions of christening every new room (apart from the kids bedrooms), falling into bed covered in paint and exhausted (but still managing a bit of loving) and scenes akin to Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost. We didn’t count on fielding a thousand questions as we trapped fingers and toes between walls and furniture, spending 4 days on the phone to our not so favourite telecoms company to demand broadband or aching so much that just finding a comfortable position in bed was effort enough.

With a toddler, a teenager and one in between we’ve quite simply been run off our feet. As I work from an office at home (a reason for the move, a separate office without distractions) the lack of broadband sent my stress levels sky high and my libido dangerously low. Days before the move we’d used all of our energy packing assuming we’d have oodles of time to reacquaint ourselves once the removal men had disappeared.

Yet after eight days without sex we began sniping at each other. Apart from the birth of children this was the longest we’d ever been, and even then I was kind enough to make sure I pleasured my husband using a mouth or a hand (or even my new ginormous boobs) to retain the intimacy between us. Our relationship seemed to drift into colleague territory where we’d focus on the jobs that needed doing with no thought for sex whatsoever, not even a peck on the cheek.

When we did try to become intimate one night, going to bed at a ridiculous hour of 9pm once the children were in their own bedrooms, we were interrupted twice as our middle daughter reminded us to lock the extra doors, our son lost his temper with Mine Craft and our toddler woke due to the noise from all of the above. Usually we’d chance an hour during our toddler’s naps in the day, or at least have a few early nights, but with the older two constantly at home and occasionally bored our attention is always needed elsewhere.

It seems too self-indulgent to send them to childcare just so we can have sex, however come September that’s exactly what we’ll be doing with our toddler. As my husband is a househusband (and a very good one too) he saves us hundreds of pounds every week on childcare, cleaning, taxi services and cooking, that don’t warrant him going to work, yet we need some time for us.

We seem to have forgotten why we made children in the first place and how it was our lust and love that created this family unit, instead we just word tirelessly attending to my work and our family matters with nothing in between.

Today we’ve come up with a mini solution for the next few weeks. We’ve decided to make sure all curtains are up and every door (bar the kid’s bedrooms) has a lock on it. That way we can embrace the quickie when the TV is good enough to engross the kids, when the baby’s sleeping and the dog is sunbathing. Without the time to spend over lovemaking the sex toys will come in handy and hopefully we’ll remember just what we’ve been missing!