I confess, I’ve yet to reach the end of 50 Shades Freed, however, its blurb is true, already I find it ingrained in my mind and can’t wait to try some of the suggestions with my own willing partner.

Taking a leaf from the book, we can learn how to fit into the roles of dominant or submissive in order to make the fantasy a reality as well as having rules that should be followed.

Forget your roles in the house, this is the ultimate way to unwind, to live out your fantasies and either relinquish or take control. You may want to go the full hog and demand these roles are extended to certain days of the week, or if you have children, keep the new positions strictly in the bedroom only. For modern day life we suggest you start with the bedroom, returning to normal as soon as the fun is over.

A Good Submissive Knows How to…


You must follow all orders without question.  No giggling, no defiance, no compromising. If your dominant says sit, you sit, if your dominant says suck, you suck.


To be a good submissive you must have complete trust in your partner. You must know that they will not go beyond your limits and you must relax in order to enjoy yourself.

Put Their Dom First

The role of a submissive is to make sure you do everything you can to please your lover through complete obedience. This means satisfying their sexual needs on demand. However, a good Dom will be turned on by your pleasure too and will not only use your body to please themselves but will make sure you receive mind blowing orgasms as well.

Use a Safe Word Effectively

For trust between both parties a safe word will be needed in case any territory is tread upon that makes the submissive feel uncomfortable. By using the safe word when needed you allow the Dom to fully relax knowing they’ll never take you too far without your consent.

A Good Dominant Knows How to…


Although the role is for the Dom to receive pleasure through orders to the sub, a good dominant will also give incredible pleasure too. Whether this is through the use of sex toys, the exploration of bodies or just through sheer anticipation is a matter of choice. You need to let your partner realise this form of sexual play is as beneficial for them as it is for you if not more so!

Push the Boundaries

New submissives may be wary when taking on the role and they may need a little coercion to try new things. A good dominant introduces new things (such as anal sex, handcuffs, whips, toys) gently allowing trust to be complete between partners.

Give Orders

The fantasy can easily be shattered if the dominant ums and erms his or her way through proceedings, as the magic will soon be broken. If you do think you will do this, add earphones with music to your submissive so all they sense is lack of contact which only adds to the building anticipation.

Set the Scene

As all of the responsibility lies in your hands, you must set the scene. You can even make notes beforehand. Make sure you have everything you need, such as lubricant, any toys, any apparatus, and a firm idea of how you expect proceedings to play out.