For The Apprentice week 5 with the premise that the funky footwear would be made into a range. Buckle up, as this was one of those fabulously frustrating tasks that left me reeling with shock, shouting loudly at the TV, and hiding in earnest behind my fingers as the cringe factor reached a whole new level. Why? Watch and you will understand, if you can’t watch, I’ll give a quick overview but remember, these opinions are my very own and you may feel differently!

Kurran, Kurran!

Kurran declared at the beginning that he would be the project manager. Nothing would stop him! When I envisage him as PM, I see him delegating effectively as he languidly lies back (supporting that heavy head of his) and sips a fresh minty mojito, waving his perfectly manicured hand with a limp wrist, while the candidates tend to his every whim. He less than graciously backed out when he realised the theatre intro didn’t correlate with stage plays – it tied into shoes. I don’t blame him for this really, if you are going to be PM, at least choose a task where you have some expertise. That leads us to…

Jackie of All Trades, Master of SalesJackie The Apprentice

Jackie quickly stepped in (pun intended – I have more!) to take over, and led with a single, almost blinkered, vision. Like many sole traders, Jackie has a hard time trusting others with decisions, and believes her way to be the only way. She swiftly designed a shoe fit for Pat Butcher or Bet Lynch as she tried to run with a hip hop urban vibe (which seemed to be far removed from her middle aged, business woman persona!). The shoe was improved with the last minute input from a reserved Sarah Ann but with the puckered lips, the diarrhoea coloured graffiti, the heel that was anything but urban, it really was a travesty. They decided to call it the Out Out, which didn’t marry well with the hip hop intentions as I don’t see Mickey Flanagan being into hip hop – I could be wrong! Personally, my tagline would have been, “take your feet to the street.”

Susceptible to Persuasion Sian

Sian took the role of PM for the other team and seemed easily persuaded to abandon every original thought she conceived, from heels to trainers, flag colour palettes to pink, which resulted in a sneaker fit for fairy loving four year olds. It really was quite difficult to look at. At this point I considered a shoe of my own design, it would be a simple black heel, with a rainbow stripe at the back. The collection would be called Pride. However, I’m not one of those who believe I could do better than the candidates, this is a high-pressured situation with a dozen strong characters, a game of wits, skill, perseverance, strength and stamina and they’ve outrun thousands to win airtime!

Claude Littner Claude Remains Fierce!

There was no hint of a smile from Claude this week, as like me, he seemed to bury his head in his hands. Karren, meanwhile weighed up every candidate and obviously found Rick lacking!

Hey Ricky, What a Pity, You Don’t Understand!Rick The Apprentice Week 5

Ricky was solely responsible for the cringe worthy moments this week, as he adopted his competitive dad head, and decided he knew best. Unfortunately, he didn’t. As if his inspid sales technique in the body building expo wasn’t enough, he was brash, abrupt, rude, and disinterested. It’s no surprise he made no sales yet again. While he may be fun in a group of friends, he’s no businessman, he’s not a people person and he can’t sell. It became obvious that he would have to go as soon as he uttered the words, “he’s not interested let’s move on” in front of a potential buyer. I believe he thinks his age awards him super status over the younger candidates however age does not always equal intelligence.

The Urban Heel Was Stuck in the Mud

Jackie sold her design with a fierce finesse and I was impressed with her prowess and people skills. I was sure she’d win the task for her team but it wasn’t meant to be. Kyode seemed to find his limit, a master of the short, fast sell, he floundered when faced with genuine concerns about the product, however this minor misdemeanour should not tarnish his successful run.

Which is why history was made. As Jackie brought Kyode and Kurran back to the boardroom, it was clear that Lord Sugar was stunned by the choice. He’d obviously heard of Ricky’s unprofessional approach from Karren and Claude and was determine to put the right head on the chopping block. He called all of the team back in and proceeded to fire Rick. It looked for a moment as if we’d enjoy a double firing, but Kurran held on by the skin of his teeth. Next week he project manages. Refer to my earlier comments as to how I think he’ll handle this!

Will He Ever Learn?

During You’re Fired Rick was quick to blame anyone but himself, he was adamant that Lord Sugar would regret his decision, and he saw no fault in his approach despite the overwhelming angry sea of red from the audience.

Who Will Win?

I still think it’s too early to predict who will win, but I’ve been asked multiple times on Facebook and Twitter.

Here’s how I feel the candidates will finish – with 1 being the winner– next week it may be different.

  1. Jackie
  2. Tom
  3. Sarah Ann
  4. Kyode
  5. Khadija
  6. Sabrina
  7. Jasmine
  8. Daniel
  9. Sian
  10. Camilla
  11. Kurran

Next year, I’d love to apply, however I will be 40- and I don’t think there’s ever been a candidate that old before! (I also don’t need investment but would adore Lord Sugar as a business partner).

A spot on the panel of You’ve Been Fired would work!