Welcome to my December edition of ‘Making Life Interesting’ at Sunday Woman. Sometimes you don’t have to do too much to enliven your day. There are times when an amusing situation will present itself to you…gift-wrapped in shiny paper…with yellow and red satin bows.
Here’s my account of one of these situations, delivered to me during and after I recently enquired about the possible purchase of a garden shed.
(MOP= me on phone BOP= boy on phone FOP= father on phone MODs= me on doorstep FODs = father on doorstep)
MOP – I’m calling about the garden shed you have for sale in the Friday Ad
BOP – Ah, yeah. How can I help?
MOP – You can help by telling me a little more about the garden shed for sale for £80. Whereabouts are you?
BOP – I’m in the kitchen
MOP – Oh kaaay. I am actually asking where you live
BOP – Oh, Paddock Wood
MOP – That’s quite a distance for me to go just to look at a garden shed. Can you describe it to me, please?
BOP – It’s a provincial and industrial town
MOP – Can you describe the garden shed, please? Not Paddock Wood
BOP – Garden shed. Made of wood
MOP – Oh okaaay. How tall is it?
BOP – About the same height as me
MOP – Oh kaaay, and how tall are you?
BOP – I don’t know. Give me your phone number. I will measure the shed and call you back
MOP – (testing to see if the boy is as daft as he seems to be) I shall just find a pen and paper so I can write my number down for you
BOP – I’ll hold
( I give shed-boy my number and my phone rings 10 minutes later )
BOP – It’s 4 foot 11 by 3 ft 8 and it is 1 ft 11 deep
MOP – That sounds rather small for a garden shed. Does it have a sloped roof, but only on one side? Is that sloped half-roof covered in green felt?
BOP – Yes
MOP – I think you’ll find that the item is not a garden shed. It is a storage-unit and I can get one of them at B&Q for the same price
BOP – you’ll never get a cheaper garden shed
MOP – storage-unit
BOP – Do you want it?
MOP – Not for that price, but thanks
I go back to my tasks of the day, washing and cooking and preparing dinner. I was preparing a fab tag-bol, which is like a spag-bol but using tagliatelle instead of spaghetti. Try it.
Ten minutes later, Shed-Boy is back, with an air of wrath
BOP – I’m calling about the garden shed
MOP – Storage-unit
BOP – Well! Whatever! IT IS SOLD!
MOP – So, you’re phoning me just to let me know that the storage-unit you think is a garden shed has been sold, in the last ten minutes?
BOP – It was sold all along. I just didn’t realise it. My dad sold it this morning and the buyer took it away with him
MOP – Oh kaaay…top marks to you then…for having the super skills to measure a garden shed/storage unit that actually isn’t there
I terminate the call
Later on in the evening, as I am just about to devour my tag-bol, the telephone rings
FOP – Hello there. You called and spoke to my son about the garden shed
MOP – Storage-unit
FOP – Whatever. It’s still for sale and you can have it for £60
MOP – I feel I’m getting to know your family well. You’ll be inviting me to dinner next
FOP – Don’t be so preposterous
MOP – I’ll give you £50
FOP – Deal. Come and collect tomorrow
MOP – Excellent. Whereabouts are you?
FOP – I’m in the kitchen (confirming that the stupid gene is very much in family abundance)
MOP – Oh kaaay. I was actually asking for your address
The next evening I’m on the road to Paddock Wood
MODs – I’ve come about the garden shed
FODs – Storage-unit
MODs – Hoisted by my own petard
Shed-Pater ushers me into the kitchen and, to my surprise, there stands the storage-unit. In the kitchen. I pay him the £50 and, just as I am about to leave, he asks
‘Do you fancy some dinner whilst you are here?’
We had a spag-bol
See you in January my friends x
If you would rather have a hassle free way of buying a shed, consider Garden Furniture Centre, they have a range of garden furniture and garden buildings for you to choose from and all at a great price with delivery.