By Martina Mercer

Whether it’s the first time you’re planning on sleeping with someone, or you’ve been in a relationship that seems to have ground to a halt in the bedroom, here are some top tips for enjoying better sex to help you both get the most out of each other and make sure the earth moves and sparks fly!

Have Confidence!

When two people have sex on their minds, they are definitely not thinking that you have a wobbly tum or cellulite, for men, the touch of a woman’s skin is so soft, everything else is irrelevant. For women, how you treat her out of bed will be the biggest turn on, rather than if you have a six pack or not. So keep the lights on, relax, and have confidence in yourself, let your inhibitions escape, and you’ll enjoy it all the more.


The key to any relationship in life is communication. Of course, acting like Monica in friends and giving a clear detailed plan of what you expect is off-putting, however, by just uttering a few appreciative noises when your partner hits the right spot will ensure that they learn and remember what best works for you. A little trick when you’re both comfortable is to sit opposite each other naked. With a lipstick or marker pen, ask your partner to tell you the most sensitive areas to touch. Earlobes, neck etc… Rate them from 1 to 10, and then use each one to your advantage.

Have a Sense of Humour!

As carefully planned as your night together may be, maybe it’s the first time, or a night away in a hotel, have a sense of humour. Nothing will go exactly as you envisaged, and falling off the bed mid snog, or banging your head accidently on the headboard needn’t spell disaster as long as you can both laugh and see the funny side of things.

Play Games

The first time, just the lead up alone will be games in itself, however, if things are becoming a little stale, introduce new things gently. Maybe a blindfold, to eliminate one of the senses, meaning that other senses are heightened, or a little role play where you both dress up as your favourite character? There are even board games out there now that whilst playing can give you a whole host of ideas, and I bet you won’t care who wins!

Make Time

This is all so true if you are in a long relationship, yet also applies to first timers. Quickies can be great gap filler when you haven’t the time or the prolonged privacy to have anything more, but if you really want both parties to enjoy it time is of the essence. Foreplay is a must the first time you sleep with someone, leaving your new beau dissatisfied is a big no no if you expect to do it again. It also ensures any nerves you may have are nicely ironed out before getting to the big act. In long term relationships, work, family commitments and household chores can all be too easily put ahead of the queue. Make sure you’re alone, send the kiddies to Grandmas, and put at least three hours aside, order a takeaway, light a fire, select some good music, have a bath together, in short indulge!

Make an Effort.

If you’ve been with someone a long time, you may think there’s no need to make an effort. They’ve seen you at your absolute worst, so anything better is a bonus? Wrong.  If things have become a little stale, they may need reminding of the you they fell in love and lust with all those years ago. Of course, your body may have changed a little, and you may have a few more wrinkles, but making sure you wear your best underwear, use aftershave or perfume, shave or add make up, can reignite the passion that’s been lacking for a while. If it’s your first time, make sure you’ve scrubbed everywhere!